Supporting a Friend or Loved One with Mental Health Issues

6 November 2025

Let’s be honest — watching someone you care about struggle with their mental health is tough. You want to help, but you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, making it worse, or just being completely useless. Sound familiar? You're not alone.

Mental health struggles can be scary and confusing for both the person experiencing them and the people around them. But the truth is, your support — even in small ways — can make a huge difference. So, let’s dive into how you can be there for a friend or loved one who’s going through a rough patch mentally and emotionally.

Why Your Support Matters

We all need a shoulder to lean on from time to time. When someone is battling anxiety, depression, or any other mental health condition, that need becomes even greater.

Think of mental illness like hiking through a dark forest. Alone, it’s terrifying and disorienting. But having someone walking beside you, even if they don’t have a flashlight, makes it feel a little less lonely — and a little more doable.

Your role isn't to ‘fix’ them. It's to walk beside them, in whatever way they need.

Signs Your Friend or Loved One Might Be Struggling

Sometimes, it’s obvious when something’s wrong. Other times, not so much. Mental health issues don’t always show up loud and clear. Here are some common signs that something might be off:

- They’ve been withdrawing from social things they usually enjoy.
- Their mood has shifted — maybe more irritable, sad, or just "off."
- They talk about feeling hopeless, worthless, or anxious constantly.
- Their sleep patterns or appetite have changed.
- They seem unusually tired or unmotivated.
- They’re using substances more than usual (alcohol, drugs, etc.).
- They're having trouble with work or school.

Of course, these signs don’t confirm a mental illness — but they’re worth paying attention to. Trust your gut if you feel something’s not right.

Starting the Conversation (Yes, It Can Be Awkward)

This is where most of us freeze. How do you even bring it up without sounding nosy or judgmental?

The key is to approach it with genuine concern and zero assumptions.

Here’s how to ease into it:

Choose the right setting. Pick a quiet, private place without distractions.

Be honest and kind. Try:
_"Hey, I've just noticed you haven't seemed like yourself lately. I'm here if there's anything you want to talk about."_

Use "I" statements instead of "you" accusations.
Not so great: "You've been acting weird lately."
Much better: "I've been worried about you lately."

Be ready to listen. This isn’t the time to lecture, judge, or offer up ten-step solutions. It’s about making space for their truth, whatever it may be.

Remember, the goal isn’t to get them to spill everything. Sometimes just knowing someone cares can keep them going another day.

How to Support Without Playing Therapist

Let’s clear something up: You are not their therapist. And that’s okay. You don’t need a PhD in psychology to make a difference.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Stay Present, Not Perfect

You might not always say the perfect thing, and that’s fine. Sometimes, your friend just needs someone who won’t bail when things get heavy.

Try responses like:
- “That sounds really tough — I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
- “I can’t imagine how hard that must be, but I’m here for you.”

Sometimes, being a good listener is more powerful than any advice you could give.

2. Encourage Professional Help, Gently

Professional help can be a game-changer. Therapists and counselors have tools we (as supportive friends) simply don’t.

But don’t push.

You might say:
- “Talking to someone might help. I’d be happy to help you find someone if you'd like.”
- “I go to therapy myself — it’s not easy at first, but it really helps.”

Frame it like an option, not an order. The choice should always lie with them.

3. Check In Regularly

A quick “How are you really doing?” can mean the world. Try texting or calling, or even sending a meme that’ll make them smile.

It shows you’re thinking of them — even when they’re silent.

4. Help With Everyday Tasks

When someone’s in a mental health slump, even simple tasks can feel like climbing Everest.

Offer to:
- Cook a meal together
- Go on a short walk
- Help clean their place
- Run errands with them

It’s not about fixing their problems. It’s about lightening the load — even just a little bit.

5. Be Patient With Their Process

Mental health recovery isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a tangled mess of ups, downs, and everything in between.

Some days, they might seem better. Other days, it’ll feel like square one.

Your job? Hang in there. Be patient. Show grace. Healing takes time.

What Not to Say (Even If Your Heart’s in the Right Place)

We’ve all said things with good intentions that… kinda missed the mark. Here are some phrases to steer clear of:

- “Just cheer up.”
- “It could be worse.”
- “Snap out of it.”
- “Others have it harder — be grateful.”
- “You’re just being dramatic.”

Ouch, right?

Instead of minimizing their feelings, validate them. You don’t need to understand exactly what they’re feeling to accept that it’s real for them.

Set Boundaries (Because You Matter Too)

This part’s important. Supporting someone with mental health issues can be emotionally draining, especially if you feel like you’re "on call" 24/7.

You deserve space too.

It's okay to say:
- “I really want to be there for you, but I need to take care of myself today.”
- “Can we talk later? I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.”

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you love them any less. It means you’re protecting your own mental health — so you can keep showing up in a healthy way.

When to Get Additional Help

In some cases, your friend or loved one might be dealing with something more serious — like suicidal thoughts or self-harm. If you ever hear them say things like:

- “I can’t keep going.”
- “It would be better if I weren’t here.”
- “I just want to disappear.”

Don’t ignore it. It’s okay to be direct and ask:
- “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”

If the answer is yes — stay with them, and get immediate help. Call emergency services or a crisis line. In the U.S., you can dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

You’re not overreacting. You could be saving a life.

Ways to Keep Supporting (Even If They Seem “Okay” Now)

Mental health doesn’t flip off like a light switch. Even if your friend seems better, that doesn’t mean they’re completely out of the woods.

Here are ways to keep showing up:

- Celebrate small wins with them.
- Keep checking in from time to time.
- Keep being the safe space they can turn to.
- Encourage healthy habits (like sleep, exercise, and nourishment).

Think of it like watering a plant. One time helps, but consistent care keeps it growing.

Taking Care of Yourself, Too

Let’s not sugarcoat it — being there for someone with mental health issues can be heavy. You may absorb some of their pain. You may feel helpless. You might even start neglecting your own needs.

So please — take time for YOU.

- Talk to someone about how you’re feeling.
- Set clear boundaries for your time and energy.
- Get enough rest and don’t forget to do what fills your own cup.

You can’t pour from an empty glass. Supporting others starts with supporting yourself.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need to Have All the Answers

Here’s the truth: You’re not expected to be a mental health expert. You’re just expected to show up — with kindness, patience, and an open heart.

And some days? That’s more than enough.

Your presence — even when you feel unsure or clumsy — might be the one thing that gives your friend the strength to keep going. And that? That’s powerful.

So keep showing up. Keep asking. Keep listening. The little things you do can lead to big impacts.